Survivor 30 Worlds Apart Blog Recap Episode 4 & 5: Winner Winner…

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1_disgusted1Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner! Episode 4: This week on Survivor… It’s a two hour episode, which is really two episodes back to back, but since that is how they were presented to us… I’m condensing them into one blog recap. You ready? Let’s go! Allons-y! With Nina gone, Will & Hali feel like the tribe will be much better now, more solid, the way they wanted to be from the beginning, but he knows he’s the next to go if they schedule a date with Jeff. Unless he can convince Joe to vote out one of the girls; right, like that’s going to happen. The Blue Collars are filling their bellies with snake, not a big snake, but Mike doesn’t care what he eats, as we all know. Scorpian? Snake? No big whoop to him! Rodney doesn’t care either. The Blue Collar girls are not as intrigued to try the snake…

2_justafleshwoundCome on in guys! It’s time for a Reward Challenge and as if we haven’t heard Jeff say “Collar” enough times, there are callers within the Collars this week. And the reward is chickens! For this challenge, there is a caller on each team of collars that will lead the other Collars on their team to items on a course, in which the blindfolded and bound pairs of Collars will retrieve items while they are guided by their Collar’s caller. You dig? Once the items are gathered and hoisted up to the caller, the other Collars must retrieve and flag to be hoisted by the caller. lol What color Collars will win? The first two to raise their flags win reward, buuut… Little problem… After being told repeatedly by Jeff to be careful dropping the platform for lifting, he drops it and it hits Kelly’s face and STOP! When Jeff says stop; you stop. And they did. Kelly’s okay, she gets bandaged up and the challenges resumes. The Winners Winners of the Chicken Dinners are the No and White Collars– The Blue Collars will be having a date with Jeff.

3_ifounditAt the No Collar camp, Will is happy to have a win on his 42nd birthday and he’s missing his family, but it is a special birthday! They’re eatin’ chicken tonight! Jenn isn’t happy about it; she doesn’t eat meat and we all know this song and dance on Survivor. Come on, Jenn… You know what happens at camp on Survivor, while you’re surviving… So Jenn goes out walkin’ before midnight to get away from the slaughter and decides to poke around for the idol. Even though she doesn’t have a clue as to where it is, she HAS seen Survivor she knows how to look for the places in which they might be hidden. In a rotted out log, she finds one. In the Blue Collar camp, Kelly returns all bandaged up; Mike is happy that he has such tough woman on his team, buuut… Rodney… This guy is really poking at my moral fibers begging for me to play a tune for him, but he will not like the song I have to sing and play for him with my harp.

4_inhisplaceKelly did a good job asking if Rodney’s mother raised him to be the way he is thinking that women should be held to a higher standard… I’m going to finish what she started… It is not Rodney’s mother that is to blame. Rodney’s mom loves her son and knows what he’s been through and she knows how much he hurts inside, ,which is why she cannot help him. She is too emotionally attached and she has to tear him apart to build him into a better man, which I think we can all agree that he needs to be… So… Sure, Rodney, go chase all the cat tails you want out in the club and at the bar. Go chase all the pussy cat dolls you want to play with and play with them, but with YOUR perspective that YOU have about women, you will not win an angel like me. Did you ever think that maybe a woman with high standards was lowering hers for YOU??? I am an angel of a woman and there is no way I would choose you the way you are appearing now in the show. ALL women are angels, by the way, if you treat them as such and I guarantee you, none will be waiting for you to bang down their doors if you don’t look at the man in the mirror and make a change. I know how to fix you and if you don’t think you are broken, you are not facing reality. Your eyes are cold, blank and you are dead inside. There is no spark of life left in you and I know why. I think I’m not the only one; I hope you’ve had a long talk with your mother by now. And I WILL HUG YOU if I ever meet you to show you that I, even though I am just a viewer at home and a stranger, I care and want you to be warm and alive again. You are more than just the shell of a man and I know there is a big, warm heart beating inside of you, buddy!

5_tribeofjerksFast forwarding: Time for Immunity! This one is tricky! Survivors must go down a ramp over obstacles to the bottom, once all tribe members are at the bottom they must go over a wall to a maze. The maze is vertical and full of holes; they must use ropes to lift the ball up the wall and to slots at the top. It is a pretty intense race and in the end they are all tied at two balls each. No Collars land the first spot then it’s a balls dropping nail biter between the White and Blue Collars. Max’s aggressive moves pay off and the Blue Collars will be meeting up with Jeff later for a little date. So Seirra is all for Rodney going because he was like a deer in the headlights during the challenge. No one wants to go see Probst tonight and Mike knows when he reads off those names, lines within the tribe will be drawn. With Dan, Kelly says she wants Rodney to go and Dan is… Not really listening… He’s listening to her like an arrogant man listens to a woman; just nodding and saying “yes” AS IF he’s listening. Geez, what is UP with the Blue Collar guys? I’m not a man-hater, as I have clarified in other blogs, but it seems like there are a lot of men on this Blue Collar tribe who don’t have a lot of respect for women… Ladies: Rodney’s right. WE DO need to hold ourselves to higher standards… when we choose our men…. Most of the “cool kids” don’t have collars. 😉

6_byebyeLindseySo heading into Tribal, the decision is pretty much in Mike and Kelly’s hands; will it be Rodney or Lindsey? Rodney definitely needs to go, but I suppose he is a physical asset right now; it’s certainly not his mind because right now, his mind is not right. Right away, the arrows between Rodney and Lindsey are slung. Rodney’s attitude about women is brought up and everyone agrees he is abrasive – If that is how he wants to portray himself, they are going to bite their tongues. Good thing I was not on that island! lol I can only take so much ignorance before I lay the smack down. Even after Jeff points out that MILLIONS of women aren’t going to like those comments very much; he stands firm. Women need to respect themselves more, like his mother does, and he’s been burned twice by women before. Hmmm… More things are starting to make sense… So… To the vote: Rodney, Lindsey, Rodney, Lindsey, Seirra!? And Seirra? Three way tie? We all know how this works. The Re-Vote Results: Lindsey! URGH!

7_poorseirraWere Finally Playing Some Survivor Episode 5: So… The Blue Collars get back to camp and Seirra wants to know why her name was written down. Mike outs the foursome he has Rodney, Dan and Kelly then Joe tells her why she is not an asset to the tribe. Rodney says has more right to be upset than SHE does. Mike tries to build a bridge in case there is a tribe split so they can be unified upon merging, but Seirra is in no way going to stick with them now. Jumping right into the next challenge, but first… It’s time to switch it up! After the Buff Drop, no one has a collar. The tribes will now be red and blue because ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK GO KU! On the new Red Tribe: Will, Kelly, Carolyn, Max, Hali, Shirin and Jenn; The new Blue Tribe: Dan, Tyler, Seirra, Jaoquin, Mike Rodney and Joe. Poor, Seirra… At least she’s used to dealing with pigs, bulls and clowns… Since she does rodeo competitions, ya know?

8_youdamanReward Challenge Time! Wanna know what they are playing for? A neat little kitchen set to use back at camp with some sausage and stuff! Aaand, any rewards the White Collars won, since no one is going back to that camp, will also be given to the winner! It’s the classic slingshotting balls on the beach to catch in baskets challenge. We’ve all seen this one before; do I need to explain it? It doesn’t matter what color ball is caught; a ball caught is a point gained. They will be catching in pairs aaand… Blue Team wins! Big surprise, look at those dudes. We are going to need some puzzle challenges stat to knock these pins down. Not that there are not smart people on the tribe. They have Seirra. KIDDING! Carolyn thinks the Survivor Gods are trying to kill her by putting her on a tribe with Max and Shirin; what about Seirra?! Oh, Carolyn hasn’t been with those guys. Hali wants to get Kelly on their side at the Red Tribe camp; everyone is grooving pretty well as far as setting up camp life, but…

9_blessingsThere’s three three one at the Red Tribe so it puts Kelly in the middle and everyone wants her, they really want her bad! The sausage fest is definitely raging at the Blue Tribe; all the guys want to eat so they get to going on that then Rodney brings up his mom and sister. You know, the sympathy card so obviously played is not well played at all in this game, but it worked on Joaquin. He thinks Rodney’s mind is good and he’s going to work him like he’s been working everyone. Seirra opens up to the guys not from her former tribe to tell them how much she wants to not be with those guys and Tyler is happy about this. Mike catches the end of this conversation and it makes him nervous because the former Blue Collars need her as a number. He has a talk with Dan, it’s time to play nice with Seirra; they all should have been nicer to her after that last Tribal Council. He tells Dan not to explain, just apologize; women don’t need to hear why, they only want to think that they are right

10_blahblahblahOKAY! Moral fibers have been plucked and it’s time to lay some smack down, again, because these men are provoking me… Then we’re going to fast forward through the rest of this. MEN: Women are not stupid. We are really intelligent. We are far more in touch with our emotions than most of you, well, you straight guys anyway. We have intuition. We know when you are lying. We know when you are just waiting for us to shut up so you can speak your own mind. We know when you are trying to pull power away from us, because we know when you need something from us because whenever you need something… You try to make us feel like we OWE IT TO YOU. I know there are decent dudes out there; I know a lot of great men, but seriously… The rest of you meat heads have a lot of deep, inner work to do within yourselves. Women are becoming more independent because so many jerks walked out on them to make them raise kids alone and it’s making all of us stronger: young men and young men; we are all becoming better people now because dumb, meat head jerks were being dumb, meat head jerks… You can either stop being meat heads and start getting in touch with your feelings and start respecting everyone or you can be all alone with your egos. Much love to all the awesome MEN and WOMEN out there, you know who you are because you weren’t offended at all by this paragraph.

11_byebyeMaxTime for Immunity! In this challenge everyone gets to pretend that they are Link from the Legend of Zelda, sorta. In pairs, they will load clay pots onto a sled, drag it through an obstacle course, place the pots on stands then use a wrecking ball to knock them down. It was a hard fought battle, but the Blue Tribe wins and Nagarote will be going to Tribal. Back at camp, Max is happy to be able to have the opportunity to change the dynamic there; he can’t wait for the blindsides and stuff. Jenn is impressed with his Survivor knowledge. Shirin is making her own plans to oust Will from the tribe and Jenn and Hali are working together and we all know how this goes… The swing vote is going to be Kelly this week so let’s just get to the Tribal Council vote, shall we? Unless Max has more to say… The Votes: Will, Will, Max, Max, Max and MAX! Oh man! I liked Max!

Well… I don’t even know what to say to wrap this one up now. I try to be nice to people in these things all the time, but if people are going to continue to make such narrow-minded comments… You’d think with all the cameras and the microphones, and the talking to the camera that they would remember that – omg – I’m gonna be on TV and millions of people are going to watch me. Maybe I should watch what I say so I’m not perceived as a villain through and through. Yeah, that seems like a pretty good idea to me. Be a villain to win the game if that’s the only way you can win it, but make sure that you’re at least telling us at home that it’s all part of your strategy. We like clever tricksters that aren’t total jerks about being villains to win the game. Life is pretty easy when you don’t make it hard for yourself to live it. 😉 If you like The Amazing Race… If you like Hell’s KitchenBravo! If you like reality TV and if you like to laugh and make light of the world’s problems, stick with me and with Your Reality Recaps.

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