Utopia: Settling In (Days 4-7)

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Note: I’m not recapping Utopia the way others recap well whatever it is they recap. The show goes on for too long (52 weeks 2x a week + 24/7 internet video streams) and candidly, I’m not a transcription service. I’m assuming you watch the show, so my recaps are hitting the highlights of what happened each day quickly to catch you up if you missed a few days. I’ll be writing separate snarky articles about whatever needs that coverage as the mood hits me. (I’m also a little time limited when working on the road and not having access to my DVR)

DScreen Shot 2014-09-17 at 9.45.28 PMay 4 – Josh and Rob continue digging a trench for the electricity. A house meeting is called to discuss spending priorities. A Refrigerator and a computer were briefly mentioned before Guano Loco Bella launches out of the gate at the Crazytown Derby and demands a $200 water filter because fluoride. It’s bad for ya, y’all. Several Utopians disagree. Red & Dave say thanks but not thanks, they’d just rather have their 1/15 of the $5000 (that’s $333 each) in cash. Red & Dave proceed to form the Utopia State of Freedom. (USoF) They run around all day trying to get others to join. Additionally Red and Dave want the others to pay them 1/15 (each) of all income made in Utopia so they can sit around and do nothing.

Bella demands they build a chicken tractor because “literally the chickens will do as much work as one man for the whole day. One chicken” Josh builds a chicken cart, if only to appease Bella and shut her up. Elsewhere, there’s a growing conflict over some of the ladies taking naked swims, which upsets Dave and Pastor Jon. Into the evening, Dave (they guy who yelled about one bible in the big group crate being too many) starts to find Jesus and turns to Pastor Jon for spiritual advise. On the other side of Utopia, Chris and Bri… well, get closer.

Screen Shot 2014-09-17 at 10.29.04 PMDay 5 – The food situation is dire (because they refuse to fish or gather nuts and berries, that sort of thing.) Work progresses on the chicken tractor (no no, the cart was just a chicken transporter) Everyone walks away because well, there’s a daily limit to crazy. Later Bri tries to talk some sanity to Bella about how moving the chickens all over the place stresses them out, and causes less eggs to be laid. Bella ignores it completely because Bella is Bella.

Screen Shot 2014-09-17 at 10.09.30 PMMost of the rest of the group takes the afternoon off because working is hard and this is Utopia, land of plenty (except they are out of food.) Josh and Rob (with a little help from Red) finish the electric and finally that night the Utopians have electricity (and a working phone (it had a dead battery.))

Screen Shot 2014-09-17 at 10.16.10 PMDay 6 – With a working phone comes… the more discussion about what food to order. Bella calls Yet Another house meeting, but has a meltdown during it and leaves her own meeting. She walk in on Red and Dave trying to open the safe in the barn (they fail and quickly exit) and Bella gets what she needs the most – a self pep talk and self hug. Josh finishes the Chicken Transporter and the chickens take their first ride.

Screen Shot 2014-09-17 at 10.22.04 PMAaron places the fist grocery order. Dave demands “prison food” (ramen noodles) and goes NUTS when he doesn’t get his way. Starts screaming about the group ordering radishes and stomps on some canned food (that others brought to utopia with them) to make his point. Red came running back into the barn to join in the fun, because there was drama, and Red needed to be a part of it. Later the groceries are delivered ($154.76) and more Red & Dave drama ensues.

Screen Shot 2014-09-17 at 10.15.13 PMDay 7 – Red finally manages to open they safe and removes $434 each for himself and Dave. This causes a big fight with Hex. They take their new money and place their own grocery order for the two for them. ($134.83) They buy a bunch of meat, but Utopia lacks a refrigerator. (And it’s been over 100°F there daily) What better way to celebrate their independence then having a BBQ. They invite the others and bribe them with comfort food to join the USoF. Josh agrees to get Bella a water filter as an appeasement to hold out from joining USoF.

So that was the first week that was in Utopia. At least 30 house meeting were called, on the first and 3rd night they got drunk, Josh was almost evicted, Chris and Bri wasted no time in starting Utopia’s first lay around and do nothing showmance, Hex had to go to the hospital, and they finally got electricity. What kind of trouble can these crazy kids get into next week? Tune in and find out.

Tater out!

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His identity is a secret ... but his snark isn't! When not dodging the peeler or becoming twice baked this spud is known on twitter for his sharp whit! He will be blogging the Fox hit Utopia for us all season long. So check out his blogs and follow him on social media with the links below.

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